General Motors sucks dick at making cars

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Unchecked capitalism in action
GM's prototype mini-van takes child-proofing to a dark place

GM’s prototype mini-van takes child-proofing to a dark place

If you have purchased one of millions vehicles from GM in the last 10 years I have some bad news for you. Those incompetent corporate charity cases at General Motors are possibly trying to kill you.  The amount of vehicles with problems on the recall list is staggering in its scope, with everything from faulty safety equipment and airbag failure to key ignitions that turn the car off while you’re driving your shitty kids around.

Hey GM, I have a question, if corporations are people why aren’t you getting your chocolate starfish plundered in jail yet? I mean it’s nice to see other corporations try to unseat Comcast and EA from their “Worst Company in America” thrones but did they have to go for the all-time record? GM’s recalls on Monday bring this year’s total so far to more than 40 million for the auto industry, far surpassing the old full-year record of 30.8 million from 2004.  ‘Murica!
On the bright side if you’ve always wanted to play Russian Roulette with your annoying family whilst running out for groceries, my Mexican neighbor has a few Dodge Caravans you might be interested in. It definitely makes little Timmy’s soccer practice more interesting when you have to ask yourself “Is my car a rolling death trap waiting to engulf me and my loved ones in a deadly fireball?”  Who knows?!  Like a box of Cracker-Jacks that might give you a temporary tattoo or just shoot you in the face, the mystery is half the fun!

shitty movies

Hey relax Marky Mark, we’re just doing a quick collision test.

So If you like the Transformers movies and/or have purchased a Camero anytime after 2010 you shouldn’t do anything, everything’s fine, no really, you have nothing to worry about. You just keep rocking that crossfit t-shirt and listening to Linkin Park, airbags are for pussies right bro?

 


You can click on this shit:

http://www.nhtsa.gov/Vehicle+Safety/Recalls+&+Defects

Or if you’re retarded and dont know what year your whip is, you can find your over-priced death-trap on this easy to read chart courtesy of those fellatio enthusiasts at Jalopnik:

 

 

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